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I'm ridden with guilt feelings over saying the last goodbye...becasue her heart is truly in a good place and she wants all the right things (family, simoke life, all that) but when I began to resent her arriving with the kids, I knew that if I didn't address that issue, it wouldn't be fair to anyone either. Ur resentment will grow towards her kids, & she will become defensive towards u 4 insulting her parenting. u would choose ur kids over her, just as she should choose hers over u. My ex & I still joke that we will get back together when our kids r 18 & out of the house! But I want to do the right thing...thanks again for your input, all you guys!She'd the type of girl I would love to be-friend and be there to help her only as a friend. I've been there OP, and I have to say, your resentment and disappointment are misplaced.If you spot one then discuss it later by bringing up a similar situation and talking about you handled it and what worked for you in a nonjudgemental way.Now is the time to pay attention to if the parent gives in after nagging by the kids to if they are open to change in parenting style (could be they just don't know how to parent any other way) I would only introduce kids after you both meet each others a few times on own and then see how all interact 72 thanks.What are the value systems, rules, expectations, stories shared about kids,how do they discipline,what happens when interrupted on phone, what is the frustration level?Then meet kids only and pay attention to how parent keeping an eye out for differences.In almost every instance I've ever seen personally, a badly behaved child only acts out that way because that's the way they have grown accustomed to behaving.
My sons are the oppositem and they are poilte and obediant. He was constantly comparing them & it hindered him from having a relationship w/ my son.I have no discipline issue with them, and I use more hugs thsn anything with them..